Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
