so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
