explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
