so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
