Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
