the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
