Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
