This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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