you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
