you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Are we still banned from the library?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
