My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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