I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
