Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
