im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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