I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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