Is it normal to miss your booty call?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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