He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
