I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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