end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
