Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
