I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
