Im at strip club and am horny
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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