One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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