YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
