I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
