Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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