New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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