Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am available for nakedness
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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