Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
