i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
