planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
