What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
