How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
