Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
