I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
