she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think my moral compass just broke
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