I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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