He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
