And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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