You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
