This is not my ceiling
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
