Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
