Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
