dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Less talking, more tequila
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
