Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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