No more Irish car bombs ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
