why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
