You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
