Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
