At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i love accidental penises.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize