I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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