I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
