Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
